HIDAH's JOURNAL

2011-07-01T15:28:00.000+08:00

Moved to hidahisme.tumblr.com (:

THANKS.

2011-05-29T22:09:00.002+08:00

And yet again, i looked at the past and i got frustrated. Stupid am i? But, hey, don't blame me yet. It's hard to just forget. Don't worry though, i will and i'm trying.

To the past, you don't deserve my present so please don't come back not even in the form of memories.

2011-05-29T01:55:00.002+08:00

I am proud of myself today.

Today i handled things calmly. I didn't go all over the place and out of control, instead, i think i controlled the emotions of everybody today. Thanks to the work life balance class and the ecommunication class and life experience and the inspirational stories i read over the internet. All this made it possible for me to change. I'm really happy that i finally managed to earn the respect, even though it's small or little, but i had it. I had it that moment and i know every single thing i said was understood.

Thank you Allah because you allowed me to change. Amin.

2011-05-28T00:30:00.003+08:00

Malam ini aku keseorangan

Tanpamu , tanpa bintang dan tanpa bulan

Hanya kegelapan.

Aku dibaluti dengan segala perasaan

Aku kesal dengan keputusan

Aku binggung dengan keadaan

Aku mengalah dengan kemarahan

Tapi, haruskah aku memikul segala beban?

Akhirnya aku bosan.

Aku kembali ke realiti

Aku cuba melihat kanan kiri
Namun, bayangmu, jasadmu tidak aku temui

Aku mula rasa diri dikhianati.

Airmata mula berlinang
Dari situ aku mula sedar apa yang telah hilang

Aku sangat kecewa kerana engkau masih aku sayang

Tapi segalanya kini hanya tinggal bayang-bayang.

Aku terus dalam kegelapan, keseorangan

Tanpa bintang, tanpa bulan,

Hanya memori bayangan.

Meraung aku sendiri
Tiada yang menghampiri
Untuk mengubati kelukaan dihati
Oh, kecilnya terasa diri.

Namun, didalam tangisan, didalam raungan

Aku terasa diri disentuh dengan penuh belaian

Aku mula merasakan kehangatan
Siapa kah insan ini yang cuba menghulurkan bantuan?

Dalam kegelapan aku cuba meneka
Tiba-tiba segalanya terasa seakan serupa

Terpancar sang cahaya

Oh tuhan, aku seakan tidak percaya

Adakah ini hanya permainan mata?

Dihapanku engkau berdiri

Hanya tuhan sahaja yang tahu betapa gembiranya hati ini

Engkau kekasih yang aku sayangi
Kini sudah kembali.

Disaat itu hati kecil berbisik kepadaku

Hanya engkau yang aku mahu
Hanya engkau yang satu

Hanya engkau yang mampu
Melukai dan mengubati hati ini, kekasihku.

Oh, hangatnya dakapanmu

Betapa aku rindu
Maafkan diriku yang terburu-buru
Kerana kini aku tahu,

Tanpamu aku semakin keliru.

Sayang,
Kasih lah aku,
Sayangi lah aku,
Kerana kali ini aku sedar tiada lain melainkan kamu.

Aku sayang kamu, Abid. <3

2011-05-16T21:49:00.002+08:00

Sometimes life will do you a favour by letting things go your way but most of the time you have to do life a favour by accepting how it want things to be by its way. Most people blame and start questioning life when it goes wrong and most people loves life when it goes right. Most people also always says, "Live life to the fullest." How many of us is actually living life to the fullest? Am i? I don't know. What i know is, i am starting to live it to the fullest. Or at least i hope i am.

You know it is really hard to actually just talk and express yourself now a days because there are so many people that you need to think of. Like their feelings, their thoughts and everything is about them. Well, i mean, if i say the wrong thing it will just spark and i lose it all. Maybe not to strangers but more to the people you care about and love, of course. But at the same time, i don't want to think about them. I just want to express myself and hope someone listen. Not that i don't have one. Just that i don't know. I mean, the problem. I really don't know.

Indeed it is hard. I am having a hard time. People always tell me life is a learning journey. True enough i agree. Like best friend say, that line is a cliche but one have to believe in it as it is true even though it is painful. Mistakes are odd to be make, but not everybody learnt from them. Right? So why is life a learning journey? Yet again, i don't know. I'm in a mess right now. When i think back, why is everything so hard for me when actually things are simple and easy?

That is when i start to blame myself and life. So i'm just like most people. I blame myself because when things happen i wonder am i not good enough or am i just not up to someone's standard when they judge or am i being too sensitive or am i being paranoid or am i being selfish or am i just stupid? You know all the negative questions rushed in and all the answers are not different, negative. I hate it when that happens, hence i blame life for making me face all this questions.

The truth is it was never life's fault. It's my destiny. It's just what have to happen to me. I got to live with it and then let go of it. Right? But how do i let it go when i don't know how to. When i am so afraid of just one thing -letting go.

What now? Should i continue living life to the fullest, meaning me before others in my case? Or should i just let go and start fresh? Or should i continue learning from whatever happens to my life? The answer to all this question is i don't know.

What i know now is i'm not blaming life anymore because it is not its fault. This is what most people call faith, fate, destiny, part and parcel of life or even coincidence.

I'm sorry if this post is not to any of your favour and liking, but i'm sorry too this is my blog. I need nobody to agree on what i post or give me any permission to do so.

I'm exhausted.

2011-05-12T20:51:00.000+08:00

Hello there everyone.

I'm going to be out of the country tomorrow and i've yet to start packing. Reason is i'm lazy. I mean, literally lazy. Oh, whatever it is i better get packing. And to you people please pray for my family and my safety when we are there k?

Thanks.

Bye.

2011-05-05T00:10:00.002+08:00

Throat, why are you only specifically painful only after 12? D:

2011-04-30T18:52:00.000+08:00

I'm running out of words. D:

2011-04-22T00:35:00.003+08:00

Fuck it. My F on my keyboard just came off. ):

And count how many F is there on the sentence up there. F.

2011-04-17T23:29:00.002+08:00

Okay, grenade suddenly sounded fake. haaaaa~

2011-04-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

Had my first session with my personal trainer. Awesome workout today. ANDDDDDD I NEED A YOGA MAT SOONNNN. So i can do my stretches and core exercises at home.

Anyway, what a small world, my trainer is actually my neighbour. And training with him ain't difficult. I'm looking forward for friday. (:

bye.

2011-04-11T16:21:00.004+08:00

Okayy hello everyone. (:

The picture above is when i'm all ready for gym but the time says i'm too early for it. Anyway, it's raining cats and dogs here at Bukit Batok. Lightning never fails to scare me. Alright, enough.

Well, i've received my time-table for next semester. I'm not really looking forward for 3D. However, what can i do? I can't possibly run away from it right? So, i guess i have to stay and look forward to it and not to let history repeats itself. And hell yeah, i think mr dennis is one smart lecturer! Or maybe i shall say the school is smart? This is because i ain't in the same class as boyfriend for UID anymore. In fact, we have no common classes together.

Here is a brief of my time-table :

Wednesday - UID , 12 to 3.

Thursday - 3D , 12 to 3.

Friday - E comms , 10 to 11.

Alright, that's it. And i sincerely think i really needa buck up this time round. Wish me luck okay? Overall i'm still looking forward for school.

And i'm still too early for gymmmmm~

Okay bye!

COOOOOLLLDDDDD. brrrr.

2011-04-06T21:23:00.002+08:00

Asked yourself.

2011-04-06T10:50:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i wonder baby. I wonder.

2011-04-02T13:22:00.002+08:00

No matter how much today hurts, i learnt to speak lesser and think harder and more. It made me learnt that life ain't about me , myself and i. It made me learnt no matter what others have install for you , you got to be open and accept it. I learnt that no matter how much you think about others it may just be one big mistake of your own because that is not what or who they are. I also learnt that words are so powerful that they can be a weapon to slice up one's heart. I learnt to choose a better word. I learnt a lot. For whatever i've learnt, i want to apologise to every and each heart that i've hurt. I didn't mean to. I swear.

Forgive me if i cried a lot. That is me. I can't stop it. I'm sorry for that too.

And, if i said i hate you, trust me, that wasn't what i mean. Nothing beats being with you. Nothing beats sitting down and laugh with you. You're my blood. Why will i even hate you? I love you more than i love anyone else. I really do. Trust me. Just, please, do notice that i need a little more from you. You know what it is.

People may be looking at me differently now. But it's okay because i got what i deserve.

I'm tired being sad. I want to be happy, once before i'm dead at least. ♥

2011-04-01T21:51:00.001+08:00

How much will everything else cost?

2011-03-31T22:27:00.000+08:00

PHONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE faster 100%. I wanna talk to boyfriend.

2011-03-28T17:57:00.002+08:00

I was having a day with my sister. When she asked me something and it made me think and think and think and think.

She asked, "If you were stuck in the middle of the sea with two friends. Both then told you that no matter what happen do not bother to save them but save yourself. Suddenly, something happened and both of your friends were drowning. What will you do? Which one will you save? Both were important to you."

I answered, "I will drown myself too and tell them do not save me either."

Obviously, that is just to escape from choosing who to save. But the next question that pops out in my head was who in this world will kill themselves to die and suffer together with the two friends that is dying? Right? I mean very often when a friend is fighting for life or in trouble, how many of us really fight with them and go through the trouble together and make sure he/she is protected from unhappiness? No, i'm not saying this people doesn't exist. They do. Just that, how many of them?

Yes, you're right. The answer is not many. Sad isn't it?

However, i'm proud to say i will be that friend. (:

2011-03-28T09:51:00.004+08:00

I swear that dream was just sad and you know confusing. I dreamt you were married and i was there to see everything with a broken heart. Like, wth. At the same time i'm glad you're married. But why were you all nice to me at your marriage? I wonder.

Afterall, it was just a dream. Bye.

2011-03-28T02:14:00.002+08:00

"Give me one reason why i hate you. Stop, cause the only reason i think that is suitable is because you make my life miserable. Period. Yes, you. Maybe i shouldn't blame you, but you made me this way. You made me into a person that has nothing but insecurity and hatred. You made me lose all the confidence that i ever had. It may not be you. However, it may be just you. You get what i mean? Whatever it is my friend, i hate you.

People always ask me why hate. I answer because i met you. And because you met me. In other words, you taught me how to hate. And you taught me how to judge people because you judged me too. A little unfair , but that is what i get from knowing you.

That is because you did nothing but miserably miserabled my life. "

If you ever make my life miserably miserable, then this is for you.

2011-03-24T11:42:00.002+08:00

Awesome. My rings are here. See, even mum like it. Haha. (:

Today is nothing much yet. It is still early. I am just so happy that my rings are here that i wanted to show the world how happy i am.

Weird isn't it? How small things like this can make me feel like i'm on cloud 9. Yes, that's me.

ALright, i better get going. Bye.

2011-03-23T19:32:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I hate the feeling when i want to know something and at the same time i do not want to. It is like fuck it man. But i can't stop this feeling, what should i do? I will always end up knowing it and got myself pissed off and irritated. Fish it. I better let it go, right? Yeah, let it go. Brrrr. Brrr. Brrr. Okay, gone. Haah.

Today is fun because of the fact that me, mum and my maid were actually 'shopping' together. Mum were extra generous today i do not know why. Either than that i am not having fun today. I was like suppose to meet my coursemates for a shopping trip and karaoke-ing, but mum doesn't allow me to go because i am sick. I partially lost my voice yesterday because of work. Irritating much? Yeah. Rough day when you're sick and still goes to work.

The bright side today is mum is cooking wantan for dinner today. (Y) I told her to make many many wantan and it is all for me. MUAHAHAHA. I know, it is awesome that way lah. That's why. Mum's wantan is a must to eat many many. So don't blame me.

Alright, i got to go. Byee.

2011-03-21T18:12:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Yet again i have to skip work. Thanks to fever, sorethroat and the irritating cough. I hate being sick.

I swear that this time round my holidays are beyond boring. It is like i am at home almost all the time. How sad right? SUPER DUPER WOOPER sad. I want to go out but.. first, i do not know where to go because i am trying to save bucks. Second, everyone i asked out turn out to be busy. Third, i am sick! ):

Holidays been home, teevee, sleep or work, home, sleep. How pathetic uh?

Okay i got to go. Bye all.

2011-03-20T20:16:00.004+08:00

Sometimes i'm just jealous.

Well, i'm sorry for being stupid and naive. I'm sorry for being too sensitive but i am like this because i thought by being stupid and naive only then will i get all the attention. Honestly, i know it was wrong and always been wrong. But what else can i do? That is the only way to get attention.

Do you people really care about me? Do you? ):

I am very heartbroken. I am.

PS : I am very sorry if this post hit anyone. This post is honestly truely what is in my heart. I'm sorry if it makes any of you angry or anything. That was not the intention.

2011-03-20T00:18:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Picture was taken a week ago.

I have been sick since Wednesday. Not fun at all. I was like so weak and my head was like so heavy. And i am still sick now. Getting worst in fact. ): Sob sob.

Anyway, i met Zenia today (yeah, i know. i am a stubborn girl). Well, i promised her so i can't simply back out at the very last minute. So i met her today for lunch at Swensens. We had a major catch up and it was fantastic. I miss those days where i will just complain and complain to her about my life and she will do just the same to me. I miss my Zenia. Today was awesome but sadly i had to leave at 3.30PM to meet my sisters.

Psst, Zen, we shall have the whole day ours next time okay? (: ! I love you.

Like finally today i bought my younger sister her long awaiting birthday present. Nice shoes. (Y).

I miss boyfriend. Yeah, i still miss him. ): It's like please the date we had on Wednesday were SO short. Movie soon okay boyfriend? I love you.

And i miss best friend. He sms-ed me today and complaining how hard his NS training were. I was like SCARY! /; Anyway, best friend, you'll be alright. (:

BYE!

2011-03-17T10:28:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I am feeling 101% guilty for not attending work. Not attending work = no salary = no extra pocket money = POOOOOOOR ? Nah. N0t poor, just lesser money to spend. Haah. Okay okay, work aside. I'm letting go of work this few days. I am so sorry Hazel.

Anyway, i have been babysitting my nephew on Monday and Tuesday. Trust me it is awesome yet tiring. Anywho anyhow, i still love babysitting and looking after him. Children are so cute that they can make me wanna bite their cheeks off. (: !

So many to tell you but i don't know how to say it my dearest diary. I guess i shall just end it here.

PS: So happy to see boyfriend yesterday after almost to 2 weeks of not seeing him.

Okay, BYE.

All i got to do is be careful and i will be alright.

2011-03-11T19:14:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I believe things will be alright even though warnings were sent out across. I believe i will not scare myself by predictions made by people at twitter except official news. I believe the world will be alright. I believe in ALLAH that he will protect us all.

AMIN.

2011-03-05T00:08:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I am officially free from stress and school for a month. I am a happy girl!

Yesterday was the final day and that means it was the presentation day. Nah, my group did not manage to meet all the requirements. Like example our website were not out at the very last minute because of some error. However, trust me i am proud of my work this time. I am very please and happy with what my group have and what we have been putting for the past 3 weeks. Finally, it is all done and over. Flaws here and there but we improved. And that is a huge success for me. For my improvements, i want to say a huge thank you to boyfriend for helping me out in my modelling and guiding me through out the project. Also, i want to thanks Miss Lum for the guiding, comments and the advices. I want to thanks my elder sister for sacrificing her sleep hours for the last week of the project fetching me and my group members home. I want to thanks my parents for constantly waking me up early and make sure i finish up my work properly and always send me to school without fail each time i need to be in school. Lastly, i will like to say a huge thanks to my group members (Jeff and Wen Been).

Well, that is it for my studio project. (:

Now, i am dead tired because i had to look after my nephew for the whole day. It was fun having him around at home but tiring because mum and my maid could not help me look after him today as they were busy with tomorrow's orders. So i had to look after my nephew all by myself. Proud to say i did manage to. TGID. And okay, so sent him home and now i'm all alone in my room watching teevee.

I need to sleep soon. Working tomorrow.

So i guess, BYE!

Till next time honeyys. Loves.

2011-02-28T11:55:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I just had my meeting with my lecturer and my zombie just had to trouble me. Yes, according to my lecturer, she assume that my file might be corrupted. As a result, i have to re-unwrap my zombie. I'm doing back ups now anyway.

Please pray for the good for me. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Thank you!

Okay, i shall go. BYEEEE.

2011-02-27T21:17:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Tell me how can i not love that cutey up there? Hee. (:

Okay, i'm stress with my work right now. It is like time is running out. We have 4 more days left to presentation. However, i am trying very hard not to let the stress get on my way. Trust me i am. I don't want to fail this Studio Project again. Reason is if i were to fail i will be out of school and i don't want that to happen. Pray for the better for me okay? Thanks all.

4 more days and it is freedom for a get a way. Nah not really. Will be working this holidays for extra moneyy for my own expenses. Of course, not the whole month. For a few days only. At least i know i got something to do during the holidays besides spending good times with my dearest family and my one and only boyfriend. Egg-citing. Oh and 5th of march, lunch with Zenia. It's been a long time since we meet and talk about almost anything under the sun and clouds.

Omg, i miss doing this to you blog. I miss ranting about things to you. I miss you.

And boyfriend, please don't be stress okay? Things will be fine. I promise. *hugs*

Okay, i got nothing else to say. Bye. Till next time.

2011-02-24T18:03:00.001+08:00

Hello.

I'm like suppose to clean up my mushroom but i'm running out of energy and mood. D:

Okay. I'm done here.

BYE.

2011-02-22T17:59:00.003+08:00

Hello.

I'm in school and doing nothing because i was stress and maya hanged me. ): I felt so bored that i thought i might as well waste my time ranting things on my blog. Yes, it's going to be about school again. Pardon me.

As you know, i am retaking my Studio Project 3. I love the group i am in right now just that today i felt extra stress because i need to re-do my models by tomorrow, 10AM. I'm just lucky as always boyfriend wanted to help. Still i feel the stress is rising. But i always tell myself, i got the whole night to finish it all and that i can.

Please, i cannot fail anymore. Pray for me okay, friends?

Yes, i am too stress right now that boyfriend told me to stop doing work. /:

Fine, i'm done.

BYE ALL.

2011-02-19T14:21:00.002+08:00

Hey there baby.

I miss ranting and complaining things to you. Nah, maybe not complaining. I shall say update you with life. And i've not been changing your appearance for a very very long time. Let's do that some time okay?

Girl, you are happy the way you are. But in a way you're not because you're expecting too much from them and from yourself.

2011-02-17T21:57:00.004+08:00

Hey.

Yesterday is playing non stop in my playlist. Indeed, i miss yesterday. I miss those yesterday(s).

2011-01-10T22:58:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry i've spoke too much.

2010-12-06T02:00:00.003+08:00

Just what have i done to myself. I really don't know. Things got out of control and now i don't know where am i anymore. It's like i'm there but i'm not. Adding on to everything, school just got to add on more stress. What do i do then? Kill myself? Maybe. :/

Forget it. I'm just too stress. I'll be fine.

2010-12-04T22:56:00.003+08:00

Life is unpredictable and heartbreaking sometimes. But that's life.

2010-11-26T09:16:00.001+08:00

Good morning.

I couldn't sleep nimore. ):
I wanna sleep longer. Like hello i slept at 3.30AM.
But my brain auto on at 9AM.
I'm sad.
Very sad.
CAUSE I WANNA SLEEP LONGER, of course.
Okay forget it. I'm awake so might as well stay awake.
Heading down to Singtel later anywayysssss.

I'm bored. Okay i shall watch movie. ^^v

Bye.

2010-11-24T20:44:00.003+08:00

Do i even exist?
You said you're sorry.
But you never showed like you were.
In fact, you black faced me and you never talk to me.
All you did was just keep quiet.
And when i speak, only shoulders shrugged.
Then what do you expect me to do?
Hey, how many time must i say to inject things in your brain that i am a lady of a feelings.
I come with feelings and i am fragile.
Just that i am not like fragile as in -Once broken consider sold.
I'm fragile in a way that i am sensitive.
Get it?
Nahh. I don't think so.
Cause you ain't focusing on me anymore lately.
Continue walking away from me like that.
Continue breaking my heart okay?
Thanks.

AND FUCK IT.
Now, i felt the threat again cause she's out there on her own.
For all i know she's praying over you.

2010-11-23T22:45:00.002+08:00

I don't even know where to begin.
Because i don't even know how things actually sparks.
All i know was black face the next moment i opened my eyes.
And nothing were spoken. When i asked, voice were kept and only shoulders shrugged.
Hey, what's going on?
But he apologised. I told him forget about whatever happened (which i don't know apart from rejecting the offer).
I freaking prayed to god before i leave the house that he actually will be fine by the time i reached school.
Well, god didn't manage to listen to me (i guess) cause i receive yet another black face.
Oh my. I got crushed instantly.
However, still hoping for him to actually start a conversation.
I mean he said he was sorry didn't he?
But why the black faces and all the silence (untill now).
What do i do then?

What do i do? SOMEONE tell me what do i do? ):

2010-11-21T21:05:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling messy.

Tomorrow marks the day where i am going to re-start everything. Yes baby.

2010-11-20T19:43:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I really don't know what to do now. I mean i'm frustrated with myself because i have not been taking care of myself lately. I am not going any way nearer to achievement yet. I stopped halfway. Now, i got it all started back. And i ain't stopping. Really. This time i swear. I promise to myself.

Okay i'm messed up. I want my milk. ):

BYE.

2010-11-20T00:45:00.004+08:00

Hello.

Have you ever felt like you shopped too much and then you were so fucking guilty that your mum will slaughter you? :D

HAHA. I had that feeling eversince i bought myself many many things this week. Surprisingly, mum didn't slaughter me neither did she nag. Yeah, i shop many many this week. Let me see what have i been buying (or you shall say shopping). Okay, i bought a new t-shirt, rings, hairbands, school stufffffffffffffffff and a new watch. And all this cost me 100 bucks? No, not really 100 bucks. Specifically 98 bucks. HELL, tell me how do you explain Singapore as a cheap country then? ): ! Now, i'm left with a single 2 dollar note in my wallet. But when i look at the things i bought i don't feel any regrets. Cause it worth the moneyyyy lah. AWESOME SHIT STUFFFF. Besides, a lady ain't a lady without shopping.

And someone stole my beloved birkenstock. ): ! I cried like a girl that didn't get her lollipop because mummy said no. I mean hello, it's my one and first sandals i ever bought using my OWN hard work moneyyyyyyyy~ I was so angry you know. Lucky day, so many people was wearing birkenstock when i actually lost mine -today. Awesome right? Heart acheeeeee~

Okay i'm running out of words. I guess i better get going. Byeeeeeee loves.

PS: To who it may concern . You should just die. Really.

2010-11-18T22:30:00.002+08:00

Internet connection sucks to the max. I swear. Getting frustrated.

Basically today isn't my day . I skipped ONGD and i missed meet up with GF. The best part of life today is i had dinner with my classmates (which i've not been doing for 93739473846276323 days/weeks/months/years) . Besides dinner, i finally had my ELMO keychain and a new teeee shirt. Now, youtube is a bitch. It's not loading for me. :/ i want to watch videooooos.

I'm bored. Yes bored. I don't know what to do. I'm tired too. But i don't feel like sleeping. I feell like singing. I shall sing then.

Nights everyone.

Okay. Here's a joke we talk about over dinner.

"You thirsty?"
"Wait, i buy for you potion."

HAHAHA. Okay lame. BYEEEE.

2010-11-13T09:16:00.002+08:00

Hello.

How is everyone doing? (:

I'm glad to announce that i'm doing great for everything with minor and major hurdles in life. But afterall, life is pretty much awesome. I miss blogging for like seriously. The thing is as i grow older i have lesser things to blog about. Tsk.

Here i am having my breakfast. A bowl of cornflakesss in my room singing to taylor swift - Fearless. HAHA! I'm bored. Hidayu is coming over at 11 plus to get ready to Zalina's wedding. I'm still hesitating to bring camera or not to bring. Okay, i shall bring. FINEEE i'm lame. I know. Oh and i'm sms-ing boyfriend too.

Omg, see i'm a multitask-er.

Okay, i better get going.

In short, LIFE IS AWESOME.

<3

2010-10-25T22:33:00.002+08:00

Hello beloved readers.

School is a great pleasure , i must tell you. So that is why Wee Theng, i disagree with you about starting the Studio Project 3 early. I really need to do well for this semester. I mean, i did terribly last semester. Since then, something hit me and when school starts this semester, i regain my confidence and i change my whole attitude towards school. I don't want any 3D to get on my way. For once, i wanna be free like those balloons. (: Thanks for the understanding.

Healthy lifestyle is on it's way. I love myself more than ever. <3 Thanks to the biggest loser asia . Indirectly, encouraging me to lose weight and stay healthy. Thanks to my family for working together to live healthy. Thanks to boyfriend for supporting. And thanks to those slim girls, that motivate me further to make me want that body. HAHA ! <3

So, yeah. Some people see others and get jealous and do nothing. That was me last time. Now, i see them and think. And i'm taking action now ! :D AWESOME. Rock & Roll.

Okay, i got to hit the showers. :D I'm smelling baaaaaaaadddd~

Bye love.

2010-10-14T22:15:00.002+08:00

Why do i miss those time when you still yearn for my attention?

2010-10-13T12:38:00.002+08:00

Hey baby baby pick up the phone
I wanna say hello hello
Hey baby baby hold up don't hang up
I wanna say hello hello

:D

2010-10-12T20:19:00.003+08:00

Timetable is out.
And i'm feeling messed up.

2010-10-04T02:54:00.003+08:00

Hypocrites and liars.

These two got to be together, don't they?
And everyone, including me, hates the HLs.
Cause the HLs is just pretenders.
And i don't talk to pretenders.
That's why i ain't talking to you.

So suck it up you deserve no time and no respect from me at all.

2010-09-23T18:18:00.003+08:00

This is life.
There's no pause and there's no replay.
It will stop and it will stop forever.
And sometime seeing someone else life to end is heartbroken as you imagine what will happen if the person going through all that is you -yourself.
Tears accompanied my family members yesterday as we witnessed our strong uncle fighting his life against cancer.
However, he lost and we lost him.
At that moment, everyone could do nothing but cry.
Heartbroken, tears, drama and everything you could imagine of.
He was a strong man.
He was a kind man.
He was a lovely man.
But, ALLAH s.w.t loves him more, hence he took him away.

Now, i believe everyone needs to move on.
And i know everyone is.

Al-fateha.

2010-09-01T23:21:00.002+08:00

Haha.

I felt like laughing.

2010-08-23T12:29:00.004+08:00

I seriously don't know how i should describe my feelings. I don't wanna risk anything anymore. I don't want to think too high of myself and end up falling down. I don't want to for sake anything anymore. Please. It's about time for me to realize what i can and what i can't. I won't take everything into my hands and slip them away one more time. I don't want to regret yet another time.

It's difficult when you've made a very huge mistake right at the very beginning of the journey and regret everything else now. All i need to do now is complete this ASAP (which will be fucking later because i'm gonna have to retake one of the module). I really need to get this over with as soon as possible and move on with life. Moving on, doing something i really enjoy. No longer doing something i'm pretending, or i should say trying to enjoy.

This is hard. Indeed very hard. Keep on thinking about this makes me no better. I better get going.

When, when will i be able to do something i really enjoy doing. I miss first semester. I really mean it.

2010-08-18T23:47:00.003+08:00

And it's like 6352197728162153616371516425 days since i update. Sorry readers. Now, i'm back but i don't know when will my next update be. (: !

Anyway, i'm back just to make sure this blog isn't dead. And HELLO.

2010-05-16T20:55:00.002+08:00

Love is like a cup of coffee/tea. All you need is to add sugar in it. It's up to you -too much or too little.

I've found the life i should have long time ago and i'm happy with it. Life blessed by my family. It may not be perfect in a way, but still i no longer need to live life in fear for every hour, every minutes, every seconds. There's no longer a secret i need to keep from anyone. I'm able to breath the air like the other human beings or at least there's no more suffocation.

For all this, there's only one man deserve all the credits. That is my dearest Abid Jaddi. He brought me out from my darkest life. He cured me like a doctor do to his patience. He made me face the reality and stop hiding myself. He's there all the time. And at time i wonder, was i there all the time for him? I'm sorry if i wasn't. But trust me, i will.

To this, i love to wish him a very huge thank you for all he have done for me. I love you so much dearest Abid Jaddi. I have to say this, without you i don't think i will escape. I don't think i will stop all those hurting. Thank you so much honey. Nothing else can explains how much i love you.
<3

Lastly, HAPPY 6th MONTHSARY.

Hugs&Kisses,
Hidah.

2010-05-05T20:08:00.002+08:00

DUSTY. :D
My blog is collecting dust. LOL.
The reason is, i don't know what to blog about.
I've been busy with school (not entirely) but still i don't know what to blog about.
Like seriously.
0.0 !

Okay bye. ;D

2010-04-28T00:23:00.001+08:00

Is it just me and my mind?
Or is it really happening?
Cause i read the part where you said you wanted to apologise,
But you cant.
So many hints were given but you slip it away.
Since then i've been thinking in your mind is full of guilty towards her.
Is it her that you're thinking about?

Maybe, it's just me and my predictions.

2010-04-05T18:52:00.001+08:00

Hello.

If you understand the mind and the heart.
Because the love collides.

Bye.

Random. -.-'

2010-03-28T08:45:00.002+08:00

Nothing else that i want.
I have everything i need in life.
My parents, my siblings, my boyfriend and my bunch full of friends and still making new friends.
Look, this is the life i want.
I couldn't ask for more.
Getting pampered by both my family and boyfriend, isn't that enough?
Wait, i think my friends, pampered me too.
People like, Arie.
My life wouldn't be like how it is now if it's not for my family, boyfriend (Abid) and Arie.
They played a HUGE role in making me realise i deserve to be who i am not what i am and pleasing everyone else.
As i sit and recall everything i told myself, "When this people need you, anytime anywhere, you better make sure you will be there for them. Mentally , physically .. be there! They are the people that make you into a happy person like who are now. Never ever disappoint them."
I love my family a lot!
I love my boyfriend so much!
I love Arie as much as i love my family !

To all of you, thank you! Thank you so much!

To people that brighten my day indirectly, like DG0903 and friends out there, Thank you as well! (:

I'm such a blessed girl.

To ALLAH, Thank you so much too. You've given me the chance. The chance to be free and be who i am. THANK YOU! Syukur Alhamdulilah. (:

2010-03-23T11:00:00.001+08:00

If you ask me why?
I will answer because everyone were given chances and i don't wanna waste it.
Slowly, yes i'm taking it slowly first.
I may not be perfect but i know at least he's hearing me.
Apologising sincerely.
I may not change enirely but i'm changing.
I wanna just come clean this time round.

(:

2010-03-19T22:02:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone.

Okay, i'm like officially bored right now.

Tired is only how i can describe myself. Duh?
Wednesday i went to collect my laptop's free gift at Funan and spent the rest of the day with baby at Vivo -lunch and movie. Ended our day at like 8pm.

Thursday have to helped out at school's Fusion X night. I didn't know being an usher is so tiring. So, ya, went to school as early as 10.30AM and ended everything at 9PM exactly.

Friday (today) went to Bendemeer to collect my anti-virus CD. Travel back to home to put my laptop and then went to CDANS (Bukit Gombak) to meet my 5B2 classmates for bowling. And dinner with them, then home sweet home at 7PM.

Now, i'm like so boredddd.

Okay, i think i should go.
Bye.

2010-03-11T19:21:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I'm bored.
No hangouts.
No plans.
When there's plans it got to be cancelled.
There goes my 1 week holidays. I have 4 more weeks to fill it with well, FRUITFUL activities!
I had two this week.
One, having hidayu to come over my house and just chilling.
Second, having baby to chill with me.
There's still more to come, i know!
Anyway, i think i'm done blogging.

Oh, i'm loving photoshop, i want to do more than just one ( the pic above ) . But i need ideas. So, yeah i'm still waiting for ideas to rush in. (: !

BYE lovely.
I love you all so much.

♥

2010-03-09T10:23:00.001+08:00

Hello beloved.

Nope, laptop is still not okay. I'm still using my sister's laptop.

DG0903 is having an outing today but i couldn't make it. Sad though but i've promise someone else for some other activity. Sorry guys. Next outing, i promise. (: !

Nothing much to update anyway. Life been pretty much relaxing anyway. I've manage to catch up with my books (Malay Novels). And as i read, i feel that my old self is back. The self that likes to berpuisi and bermain dengan kata-kata sehingga ianya menjadi satu ayat cinta. A little too mushy, but if you must know that's me.

Okay. Enough of books talk. Now, i miss my dearest mrAJ! :D Thursday, lunch and esplanade with him! (: Can't wait.

I'm opening one more blog. I'll put up the link if i've done with it. Okay? BYE LOVELIES

2010-03-05T09:45:00.002+08:00

HELLO! A BIG HELLO + A BIG SMILE.
Good morning readers.

Okay, blog is pretty much dead. Couple of reasons for it to go this dead.

1. I mentioned before i will blog lesser due to my twittings.
2. My laptop is an ass. (I'm using my sister's laptop right now)
3. I'm extremely busy with school's assignments/projects (which just ended yesterday).

Yeah, school ended yesterday. Holidays starts today. I'm such a happy girl now. I mean, come on when it's holidays school is totally out of your mind and you can just enjoy every moment of it. 1 month and 1 week of holidays is still short though. Anyway, who cares. (: !

Now, let's catch up with my life.

Nothing much to catch up with anyway as life is pretty much the same. Seriously. Nothing changed. (: !

Oh, i don't know what else to blog about. Oh wait. I should say this -

"Dear group members (Melvin. Marcus. Zhong Foong. Zak.)! It's been a great experience working with all of you. Good job to everyone of us. Especially the ones that did the scripting. Without the both of u, the game wouldn't work. (: ! Thanks. And, good luck. Do say Hi when u see me."

Like seriously. I think my SP2 is an awesome experience. Thanks to my members in any way.

Okay, i got to go. I wanna continue reading my book!! :D BYE BYE!

2010-02-21T18:11:00.003+08:00

I don't know what i wanna say. Seriously.
My body is not responding to anything i do.
I'm just very weak, today.

2010-02-18T23:04:00.002+08:00

Mum saw my calendar and she goes ,

"WHY SO MESSY?! WHY SO MANY WORDS?! WHAT'S ALL THIS?" (in malay of course).

And i answered,

"Assignments mama...."

Mum goes,

"SO MANY?!"

I answered,

"Ya.."

Mum said,

"I thought what only. So, what's today's assignment?"

I looked at mum and said,

"Whatever's on the calendar."

Mum goes,

"Huh? Wow. Go do now. Don't sleep and wake up later. Do now. Okay?" + leave my room.

HAHAHAHAHA!! My mum. <3 I love her.

2010-02-04T20:27:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I blog lesser now.
Cause i twitt. Follow me if you wanna update yourself about my life (nothing special though).
But some random feelings, and quotes.

Anyway, let me see school is pretty much okay now as all the big assignments are off my shoulder. Except for animation assignment 4, 5 and storyboarding animatics. Yeah, that's basically it. I don't wish to talk about school. I just want to complete assignment 4, 5, animatics, dgart's manuals and that's it. I'll rest my mind. And then focus on studio project. (: ! That's the big plan for school.

Bye.
Remember, i will be less active here.
SEE YA.

2010-01-28T21:59:00.002+08:00

Life is demanding too much from me again.
Or maybe it's just me.
But seriously,
Time like this all i want to do is to close my eyes.
And just press the rewind button and repeat life for the better.
Just because i felt like i'm a failure in life.

SCHOOL is FUCKED UP!
Another crash down.
Maybe, just maybe, i'm expecting too much from myself.
Yes, i do expect the failure, but at the same time seeing and realising that i can actually do better just makes me feel like shit.
I mean, come on. Who doesn't want to be the best if they know they can be the best right?
Seriously, i feel downcast-ed.
It's like hey why is everybody able to do just perfectly fine but not me?
I feel terrible.
I mean, where is all my abilities gone to?
Where has it all gone to?
Stupid, i feel stupid.
My heart says i can't feel this way.
One reason -it's not the end.
But, seeing the grades is like -God, why am i here then?
You know?
It's like i'm at the wrong place doing the wrong things.
Afterall, it isn't my number 1 choice in the list.
Maybe i'm meant to be here, doing all this.
Which i never thought would be difficult.
Or maybe, everything that i'm learning now isn't my thing?
But, if it isn't my thing then that's the reason why i'm learning it.
Right?

I don't know.
See, this why school is confusing for me.
I don't know what i want and what i want to be later on in future.
I don't even know what i can hold.
Maybe i just haven't see it yet.
I don't know what's my dream is all about.

Bye, a little too dramatic for today's post. But that's how i feel.
*Hugs and Kisses*

2010-01-27T17:21:00.002+08:00

Blog is getting empty.
Don't know what to update about.
Mind's blank.
EMPTY.
STILL EMPTY.
Wait, not entirely.
Baby's face is coming in my mind.
ARGH!
Baby's face still.
NAH, blog is useless.
I shall continue having baby's face in mind.
(: ! LOVE YOU ALL. MUACKS. BYE!

PS -i know it's a very very very lame post. But who cares?

2010-01-24T13:18:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Love her like you never love anyone before.
See her like you never see anyone before.
Feel her like you never feel anyone before.

For someone. (: !
Congrats. You're finally seeing the magic of moving on.

2010-01-21T22:03:00.003+08:00

Hello.

2010 is slowly being great.

Anyway, who cares yet? As long as school is still on, i don't care if 2010 is good or bad. Cause, school's been real bad for me. Real bad. Especially last week.

I've fucked up a lot of module. Like seriously. I've screwed up animation assignment 3, GPM test, animation test, part 1 of storyboarding assignment and as well as MAYA. Tell me, how much more worst can it go? Well, screwed it up and i felt like giving up. But nah, i pull back that thinking from me. (: !

And thank god, this week -everything's fine so far.

Oh by the way, this eye is irritating me. -.-' ! PAIN PAIN!
Mum told me to go to the doctor tomorrow and MC. AGAIN!

I hate it.

BYE!

2010-01-14T20:44:00.002+08:00

Why is everyone else able to take one step at a time and take everything else as easy as possible, but not me?
Why is everyone else is able to look at things positively, but not me?
Why is everyone else can do it, but not me?
Why is it always everyone else, but not me?

WHY?! Someone, talk to me and tell me why.
):

2010-01-09T22:30:00.003+08:00

Hello.

So you told us you can and you will, but till now you didn't. Hey, excuse me, what are you trying to do right now? Cheat on us. God damn it! Think of it, you're a jerk. See, if you're facing what we are facing, tell us will you be able to tolerate any fuck-ed up behaviour like yours? ATTITUDE. Get your work done, not get our money. -.-' !

2010, when will you be good to me? Not blaming, just asking.

2010-01-02T14:06:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I don't know what's happening. Everything suddenly seems to be so fucking cramped. My head can't stop thinking. Everything seems to be out of place. Just everything seems to be messy. Yes, MESSY.

Where's my promise to a good start for 2010? Looks like it's just an unattended promise. Forget it.
Now, my mission for today is:

Homework.
Homework.
Homework.
Teevee.
Sleep.
Homework.
Pack some stuff to bring to woodlands.
SLEEP!

HOW MUCH MORE TIME AM I LEFT WITH FOR ALL THIS?

2010-01-01T00:11:00.002+08:00

2010 IS HERE!

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR friends and all! Be it those that SMS-ed me or email me or any way, this wish is for all of you! :D

Anyway, i hope 2010 will be a blessing year for each and everyone of us. Whatever happened in 2009, let's forget it and it's time to open a new page in life. A new story to begin with. :D ! Stay happy always. Remember, HIDAH LOVES YOU!

PS: I didn't SMS because i know the line will just be STUCK.

After those wishes, i had all my resolutions set in my mind. I hope this year will be a better year ahead.

2010 -i will start you well, i promise.

*jumps around.*

2009-12-31T00:46:00.002+08:00

2009 is ending in like less than 24 hours time.
This means 2010 is on its way.
Egg-citing.

Before that, let me recall what happened this year. The 2009 memories. Bad and good ones.

Get my O level's result.
Got shocked to where i will be posted to for poly education.
Made new friends DMD(games). Especially 0903.
Had enough of rumours and heartbreaking moments about my previous relationship and had a break-up.
A playing game between me and best friend turn out to be real. (: ! And now, he's my boyfriend. MINE!
Dad went for peacemaker op.
Moving house.
Learnt that poly life is freaking horrible than what i thought it'll be.
WORK experience -from Jan to Apr 09'.
CHALETTTT with 5B2. And miss them!
Dumped by a friend once said she's my best friend.
Learnt how to put on BETTER make up.
A little level up in fashion sense.
I learnt that i have diabetes.
MET my dearest CPS-ians back for raya and pretty much close with them back now.
I'm LEGALLY 18 !!!

AND MANY MORE.

I hope 2010 will be better.
Much better.
NEW YEAR'S resolutions not up yet.
But for 2010 not much resolutions.
Some logic ones. (:

Bye sexyloves.

2009-12-30T00:21:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Yesterday was fun and yesterday was fugly too.
Let me just describe the fun part and ignore the fugly part.
Cause the fugly part are not meant to be remembered. (: !

Anyway, movie marathon with 0903 yesterday. Avatar and Sherlock Holmes. Was suppose to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks, but we cancelled it out. Maybe, another day.

Avatar. AWESOME. You people should watch this. IN 3D ! Yeah, we watch it in 3D ! Fun okayy! Though the specs this time round doesn't make me go woo-woo-ga-ga ! :D But still, it's 3D. Okay, okay! Anyway, anyhow, it's a good good excellent movie. Great job. THUMBS UP! 10/10 ! =D

Sherlock Holmes was the next movie. Overall rating, it's okay (for me). In the middle of the movie, i was practically asleep. So, i watched the beginning and the ending. (: ! So, i can't rate this one yet. Sorry. HAHA.

Played pool with the guys, and it's awesome. Baby were teaching me how to play and all. Appreciate it a million love. =D ! I'll play it properly the next time round. Which according to my dear 0903, will be months away. HAHA!

After everything, went to coffee bean. Zac wasn't with us by then. Coffee Bean -everyone's dead tired. Drank and off we went to Plaza Sing. And we got separated there. (: !

That's for yesterday. (: !

Today's awesome.
Home all the way.
Packing. :D

Enough updates. Bye loved ones. SEE YA SOON.

2009-12-26T14:53:00.003+08:00

Photo's by: http://out-zero.deviantart.com/art/Drink-the-love-53536632

I thought i've spent a lot of my sister's money and i told her, "Next time, when i want to buy anything. Please tell me to pay instead of you. I use too much of your money already."

With the shock yet happy expression she said, "Okay. That's better."

Seriously, i've been spending a lot lot.
Let me list it all down.

Body shop:

1 Compact Powder
1 Wild Berries lip Butter
1 Strawberry lip Balm
1 eyeliner
3 colours of lip glosses
1 concealer
1 facial blotting tissue
1 night cream
1 Strawberry Shower gel
1 Love etc. Body Wash
1 Love etc. Perfume
1 wooden comb

Besides all this, i also bought this additional neccesities. Heh heh.

1 new reef flops
1 new black purse
1 new iPouch
1 new phone strap
1 new Sony golden earpiece

And everything's listed ain't cheap. You know. Thus the reaction from me of telling my sister to inform me to pay myself for my next bill/shopping expenses. (: ! But still i need to control myself. No OVER shopping. Buy things one at a time. *winkwink*

Let's move on.

I MISS BABY like fucking A LOT! Not been meeting him for like what? 3 days? And it's going to be the 4th day tomorrow. I hate holidays sometimes. =| ! Forget yesterday. I want everything to be just fine today. *smile wide wide*

Family affairs is going real well. Mum and dad's happy. Siblings happy. And everyone's happy. Spent quality time with them last Wednesday. Went to wild wild wet and swam like the whole day. We played true or dare. And hell, lots of laughter. Dinner was a sleepy moment for everyone that night. (: ! *grinning*

School both bad and good. Don't want to talk much about school. It's HOLIDAY people. HAHA! :D

Monday, movie marathon with 0903. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make it happened. :D ! I miss 0903 so much. Truely and honestly. (: !

Maple is being such an urgh! Or maybe it's my connection? I kept on being DC-ed. I hate it. And i can't continue my rescue don't-know what princess because none of my friends are online to party with me. Besides everyone's level is so freaking high. Sob! Anyway, never mind. (: !

What's more to update?
I guess nothing else.
Then i better get going.

:D I KNOW TODAY'S UPDATE IS CRAPPY, BUT I FELT LIKE UPDATING IT ANYWAY. MY BLOG MY SAY. WAHAHAHA! :D

Bye sexylovesss.

2009-12-17T14:11:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Another D, yeah another D. May not be a F but still seriously i feel stupid this time round. Where is my abilities to get better grades? The more i try to hold on and do better for this semester , the more i felt that i'm useless. I felt like as if i ain't at the right place. I don't know but it's like if i already feel this horrible for semester 2, how would i survive for year 2? Urgh, i don't know. And at this very moment, i don't want to know.

Well, some of you out there getting D is better. But, to me i felt useless. I don't want to be at the bottom. I don't want to feel stupid and keep on doing things i don't like with ultimate effort and in the end, everything end up with just a D.

Forget it.
Forget it Hidah.
Just walk forward.
It's not the end yet.
It's not an entire F yet.
So yeah, you can.

2009-12-14T22:15:00.001+08:00

I don't know if i'm at the right place.
I don't know if i'm moving at the right path.
Cause it seems that each time i thought i'm moving well, it just no.
Everything were wrong eventually.

2009-12-11T21:23:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Today Hidah is a SAD SAD girl in school.
Basically because she had to re-draw her storyboarding assignment and make sure it's better than her previous work. Cause she don't want to disappoint MissC anymore, but still her 2nd work isn't up to standard. ARGH!
What did Hidah learnt from this?
Hidah learnt that NO MORE last minute work!

Another reason for Hidah being a SAD SAD girl is because she delayed her beloved classmates (Zac, Ke Yang, Arie, Hafiz, Candace and Abid) lunch time. That's really bad of me. Sorry honeyyyyy-s ! I didn't mean to delay everything. But, anyway thank you very much!

Just when Friday was going to be NOT my day, Baby made it all fine just by looking into my eyes and tell me, it's okay. I'm here. Chill sayang. (: ! Though i didn't show the SMILE and kinda tolak your help but still deep inside it bright me up. Thank you very much! I love you.

And and, Fizah darling just called me and she'll be coming overnight here at my place. =D !
Can't wait.

I guess i better get going. (: !
Bye.

2009-12-03T18:15:00.004+08:00

DIALOUGES FOR THE DAY:

"2 weeks somemore! And you guys hide it! Like that like that."
"Wait, so is it confirm?"
"Eh eh!! I saw that!! Oh oh."
"Finally announcing it?"

Many more were said actually.
So, you guessed it.
It's all revealed.
What more can i say?
Thanks to pixel for making me feel so guilty from hiding our relationship status for long.
And everything were flowing out from our very own mouth SMOOTHLY to the class. One by one.

Happy Happy.
Chilling out, accompanied by the raindrops, how sweet?
Looking in each other eyes and whisper , I LOVE YOU.
Simply sweet.
The sweetest thing of all, wrapped in his arms and no one make any move, any sound except the raindrops.
Every moment were well spent.
Joy Joy.
EVERY MOMENT baby.
Every moment with you today and all the time.

It's true that people say...
Take life one step at a time.
With a step at a time, life seems to be much more easier.
Even though there's some minor problems, but still everything seems to be handle-able.
Thanks for the life i'm leading right now.
It's not 100% free from demands but at least i know i am able to cope with whatever life is demanding.
No longer wrapped in fear all the time.
And happy is all around me.
Slowly, life is coloured.
(:

PS: Baby i know somehow you'll only read this BIG one. So at the end of the day , in other words , YOU MADE ME INTO A HAPPY HAPPY GIRL TODAY AND I ♥ YOU.

2009-12-02T11:46:00.002+08:00

CRAMPS! CRAMPS! CRAMPS!
I'm having cramps.
And it's making me WEAK! WEAK! WEAK!
When i'm weak, it makes me DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!

2009-11-26T19:56:00.001+08:00

Hello.

I feel like singing. Singing a song for you, baby. (:

2009-11-22T09:46:00.002+08:00

What more can i say?
Life can be pretty naggy and demanding at times.
And sometimes you will just rebel and just ignore it.
To you whatever that life was demanding for at the time was just too much to ask for.
But when you realise that chances are given to you and that what life actually requested isn't that much, you will just get it straight it's just part and puzzle of life.
Every human will face it.
Maybe you will think that life wasn't fair for you, but hey.. since when life play fair? Right?

AS LONG AS YOU AIN'T RUNNING AWAY, I KNOW I'LL BE FINE.

2009-11-17T19:37:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I'm not feeling well. How sad?
Hence, i got let school go today. Didn't attend Drawing2 class and GPM tutorial today.
Assignments that's due today will be handed in tomorrow. Thanks missH for the understanding.
Yeah, didn't attend mrO's lecture (GPM) yesterday. Was so tired and simply lazy to.
And according to Candace, there were a POP quiz. How lucky? Automatically, i failed it.
I don't even care. Even if i were to take the quiz, i will fail as well.
So, no difference.

Anyway, went to the doctor. Was given medicine and was told to take 2 days MC.
Mum and the rest went out while i stayed at home and sleep sleep sleep.
Was seriously lethargic.
And the reason for me to be this worn out is just one - Assignment's dues.
Mum keep on telling me to stop sleeping for less then 2 hours everyday/night.

Forget it.
URGH! I don't know luh.
I just need to rest maybe?
I've just taken my medicine.
So i'm preparing to just knock out. (: !

And, so...
GOODBYE DARLINGS!

16 NOV, 7.30PM -It was official then.

2009-11-15T20:26:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Currently, i'm trying to finish up my drawing Assignment 1.
Couple of assignment to be done still.
Like,

Drawing
Animation
Storyboarding

See. See. And more to come you know! Woah!! (: ! Coping, i am coping. ^^ !
Tomorrow, i need to recheck my notebook and strike off old assignments and add new assignments in.
Week 5 starts tomorrow, and that just means, i'm left with 3 more weeks to term break, ain't i?
Work harder Hidah and things will run smoothly. Very smoothly (: ! YEAH!

Enough school talk.
________________________________________________________________

VOUGELICIOUS is loved!
Watched their video and hell i love it man! (: !
Awesome dance. I love i love!

Oh, did i mention that my laptop totally hate me. It refused to get connected via house connection?! And i don't know why. When i try to diagnose the problem, this notification saying that "Wireless capability is not turned on" keeps on popping out. The weird and most irritating thing is when i check, the wireless capability is on. It's been like this for like 3 days. Now, i have to like use either one of my sibling's laptop cause mine just hated me so much! -.-' !

Told daddy to allow me trade in or something, but daddy insisted on sending it back to Fujitsu. Well, if that works. I don't mind. Cause it seems that the laptop has so many problems anyway. Refuse to get connected to the internet, poor sound quality (irritating disturbs), auto-shut down, blue screen and laggy.

In conclusion, i hate my &^#%_#%8+^&% laptop.

Life personally is great.
Thanks to loved ones.

I got to go. BYE ALL!

2009-11-11T21:54:00.003+08:00

Hello lovelies.

Cried in the morning. Don't know why either.

Then, day flows rather well after that.
Thanks to my sisters and baby.
(: !

2009-11-07T10:47:00.002+08:00

Hello babylovesss!

Dead? Nah. Just lazy to update.
But back to update.

It's the Saturday and here's how i start my weekend.
Woke up with a bad bad bad throat pain. ): ! It's a killer man.
Plus my cold is a killer as well.
But, i'm fine.

Anyway, this week school's been okay. A little slacky. Still there's WORK to do.
Let me see:

Intro3D test (MAYA).
DGART character printing (Photoshop).
5 anatomy drawings.
Seaweed animation.
6 x 2 variations for storyboarding.

So, yeah that's the loads. Mainly for my own reference. (: !

I guess i've updated enough.
BYE ! :D

LOVE TO BE LOVED BY YOU.

2009-11-01T12:33:00.003+08:00

Hello!

ANNOYED. ANNOYED. ANNOYED.

Yeah i'm A-N-N-O-Y-E-D !
Can't IT just stop and do not come into my affairs anymore?
I know i'm afraid, but i don't want this fear to overcome the happiness i'm in now.
I don't want things to be just gone by my own silly and fool thinking/behaviour.
Nothing is going to make me go down.
Absolutely, NOTHING.
I'm not going to fall.
Never ever especially because of it.
Cause i .. don't want to lose myself once again.

HIDAH.

2009-10-29T00:00:00.002+08:00

Hello lovelies.

It's been a long time since i update this blog. Not busy with school work but plainly lazy to update. But hey this blog isn't dead. It's pretty much alive. :D

School's been so good so far. (: ! And life is 1 000 000x better. Thanks to love. (: !

GOD! I need to say this. While i were out at harbourfront, i saw this cat! The cat has 3 legs only. Omg! And to see the cat moving, is a heart pain. Even a cat is strong enough and never give up. How touch is that? Hais. And instantly, when i look at the cat -A million questions were running in my head. Sad.

So, if a cat can continue it's life and didn't give up. Why can't we?

TO HIDAYU: There's nothing to be afraid of. Go ahead, get a scan. At least, u know what is wrong and what is right. It's nothing. Seriously. I promise, everything will be just fine. Take care.

2009-10-20T05:28:00.002+08:00

Hello lovelies.

It's 5:30AM. And i'm awake. Blame the early class later on. ): !
Why do class have to starts as early as 8:00AM? I mean don't they consider those staying far from school? Who needs 1 hour to get ready to school and another hour to reach school? So, schools, start considering all this facts. It's an ass pain okay. To wake up damn freaking early just for school. -.- !

Anyway, yesterday was the first day of 2nd semester. My goal for the day was to identify a module that i will hate. So far, i have managed to identify it. And it's GPM. Probably because the lecture was draggy and dry. In one word, boring. I was laughing in the lecture theatre and thanks to bestea and his ears listening to every funny words said by mrO. And, mrO do speak a lot. And that's the reason why everything's just plainly annoying and boring.

The rest of the modules are okay. For now, i can say.. So far, So good. ^^ !

Hitting school in few hours time from now. I wonder how drawing will be like. Well, let's just wait and see. And hell, there's presentation today. -.-' !

I think i better get going. Oh, before i go.. being a photoshop lover, i guess i'm loving DGART as we'll be learning photoshop-ping for 6 weeks. ^^ !

Aite aite, i need to get going.
BYE LOVES.

PS: Wish me luck for today dearies. BLOWKISSES. :D

2009-10-16T11:52:00.001+08:00

Hello lovelies.

Yesterday was a total switch off for me. I didn't attend student's briefing, i didn't do anything except for sleeping. Seriously. I was really sick and i was very weak. ): !

But today, i felt better. Woke up feeling normal. Alhamdulilah. Nothing much to update as well. Oh tomorrow will be helping ibu (Arie's mum) with her event. Yeah, maybe there'll be a lot to update about tomorrow. So just wait. ^^

And, i dreamt of my dearest 5B2 and mr ong! You know our daily english lessons. Yeah, that's what i dreamt of. Omg! I miss them!

Better get going.
BYE.

2009-10-12T13:39:00.004+08:00

So, a few days back..

I met this girl. She's cute. At the age of 6, i shall say she's brilliantly intelligent.
I never know who she is, i never met her and i never talked to her before.
It all started when i asked her, "What's your name?"
She smiled and replied her name (which i think shall be confidential).
I told her, "Come and sit next to me."
Without any hesitation, she immediately sit next to me and hold my hand.
I was shocked, but being me i let her be.
Hours pass by.
We sang, we talked, it was as if we know each other for a very long time.
And she hugged me, she sleep on my lap, sit on my lap and everything.
Seeing her being so friendly and cute, i asked her..
"So do you have a lot of friends at school?"
Her answer was .. "No."
I was shocked.
But soon after, i understand why.

She's a strong girl.
I envy her. I pity her.
Suddenly, my heart says i miss her.

(:

2009-10-09T10:44:00.003+08:00

Hello lovelies.

10:43AM and i'm awake. Early, yes i know.

Currently, i'm doing nothing but listening to heal the world by late Michael Jackson. How cool. Alone in a room with nothing but just me, itouch and the spinning fan. Wow! (:

Oh, yesterday hari raya visiting were fun. 1 hour plus in just one house, and we ended all 4 houses at 11:30PM. (: ! The ones that went were Arie, Haffiz, Me and Bestea. Again, they made my day. ^^ Thanks babylovess. (: !

I'm going off now.
Bye loves.

Life is so much better without him.

2009-10-08T10:50:00.003+08:00

Hello lovelies.

I'm hook to songs from Indonesia. In other words, malay songs. Don't know why. Especially a song from Peterpan, Mungkin Nanti. I looooovvveeee it and i'm hooked. Omg!

Saatnya ku berkata mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua kuyakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Dan bila hatimu termenung bangun dari mimpi2mu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari semua rasa yang kau beri

http://www.ilirik.com/peter_pan_--_mungkin_nanti.html

A short update for yesterday's trip.

Met bestea first. He was saying he wanted to search for swimming pants or what, but we end up travelling all the way to changi. After changi, went back to pasir ris downtown to meet the others. Happiest, ticket cost 8 bucks! ^^ ! Student pricceee!

Then, we changed, we sombat our barangs inside the locker and off to swim! COOL!! I tell you syiok! ^^ An experience. It's awesome loveliess!! ^^ ! 4 girls (Arie, Candace, Wee Theng and me) and 2 guys (Abid and Haffiz) swam like there's no tomorrow. Started at around 2.30pm and ended at 6.30pm ! Half hour just before wild wild wet's close.

Dinner after that. The other 3 girls went homed first. Me and the other 2 guys went to newurbanmale to change bestea's flops size. Then only we proceed home together. ^^

Afterall, yesterday one word, AWESOME! Thank you to those that attended. :D They never failed to make my day in any way!

I think i've updated enough. Better be going.
Bye!

PS: Danial, our next outing, ZOO trip! U can join us now! (: Sorry that u are unable to join us due to your personal reasons. But, we'll make sure next trip you will be able to join us! ^^

2009-10-06T17:06:00.002+08:00

Hello lovelies.

Let me tell ya, i'm borrreeedd.

Oh, woke up like early in the morning. Thanks to my cough! ^^ !

Woke up with a lot of frustrations! Thanks to my freaking idiotic bullshit laptop! -.-' !

Off to far east with sister. Date with girlf due to shu wen cannot make it. So, bought something from there and went off for lunch. Back home after that.

And now, listening to music. urgh, boring lah!

My younger sister deserve a slap now cause she's punching my arm now just because she thought me and my elder sister went for our shopping trip without her?! IDIOT! -.-' ! Anyway anyhow, she's always an idiotic sister that makes me love her more everyday!!

Bought a new swim suit. :D !

2009-10-04T11:24:00.002+08:00

Aku cakap sama kau ehk, AKU MALAS NAK LAYAN KAU! Pretty lazy to LAYAN kau!

Hello lovelies.

:D I'm working toodaayyyyy~ while my family out for raya visiting. How overwhelming people?! :D
Duit raya drop sia! I'm left with 60 bucks. =.-' ! Omg!

Anyway, school's reopening soon. Kinda miss school. 1 month plus for not attending school! Pretty boring. But, at the same time, i need that 1 month plus free from school and it's ending soon. S2 time-table is out. Pretty much hell on Monday, school starts at 11:00AM and end at 6:00PM! There's no break in between. How helllllishhh is that?! -.-' !

Tuesday will probably be meeting girlf (shuwen, liting, liyan, selina and hidayu). Miss them all like truck loadss! Managed to meet only shuwen, liting and selina during 5B2's BBQ. Miss the other two. GOD, i can't wait. Let's go somewhere and gossipp like we always do girlfs. :D ! But, Selina and Hidayu start school tomorrow. After their class then. :D ! Awesomeeee!! MISS YOU BABIES!

Then Wednesday, WILD WILD WET TRIP! I'm excited! Like, the last time i went there was like end of last year or earlier this year. Seriously can't remember. But it's very long time ago. I so want to wild wild wet okay! Especially with my 0903 and maybe Haffiz is tagging along. Awesome or what?! COOLL babeyy! :D Haha. This is what i mean by me being excited. (: !

Thursday, raya outing with two dearest! Bestea (Abid) and dear Arie. Seriously, i hearts this two so much. They makes me carry life by moving forward man! (: !!

Friday will be filled either with DRAMA or BUKU. ^^

Saturday SLEEP or MAYBE work.

Then back to work next Sunday. :D

Pretty much, this is how my week going to look like. (: ! Awesome, i can't wait. ^^

K lah, i think i've updated enough.
GOING OFF.

Bye.

2009-10-03T17:47:00.004+08:00

THIS BROKEN HEART SAY

In the time when i'm with you
Life feels so rich and colourful
And you make me believe
That love can't make anyone
Feel any lonely

You told me you gonna love me
You told me i'm the only one
You also told me that love
Can't bring anyone down

I believe what you've said
I take whatever it takes
As long as you and me
Forever living lovingly

But now i realise that you
That you just bullshitting me
With words i think
Shouldn't be said by you

And now my heart is broken
Oh thank you to your lies
And now i'm gonna tell you
GOODBYYEEEE

Cause this broken heart says
I had enough from you
I need some space for myself too
So that i can see the truth
So i can understand what real love can do

So much from believing you
I hurt myself deeply
And now i realiseeeeee......

Now i realiseeeeeeeeee..... that you
That you just bullshitting me
With words i think
Shouldn't be said by you
And now i'm gonna tell you
GOODDBYYYEEEEE

Cause this broken heart says
I had enough from you
I need some space for myself too
So that i can see the truth
So i can understand what real love can do

2009-10-02T10:19:00.002+08:00

Hello lovelies.

You guess it right. iTouch have been my best friend for the past few days. Well, i just need music to make me forget everything else in life that has been happening.

Like hello, i have this FORGET EVERYTHING tagged in my personal diary -It's too remind me, i don't need to remember any single thing. And, somehow, it's a huge help for me.

Anyway, i'm bored here. Will be going off to chinatown soon, returning the OG's property. So, i can get my 10 bucks back, asap. -.-' ! Oh, did i mention i'll be working utmost every Sunday for this month? I didn't, but now i did. And let me tell ya, i LOVE it. WOOHOO! Except that the locations kinda nonsense, but it's work babeyy!! I get moneyy!! ^^

Nothing else to do. Internet is getting pretty boring. Nothing much to do. Facebook, MSN and blogged. Then i'll go off. B-O-R-I-N-G ! 0.0 ! URGH! I think i shall make a move now lah. -.-' !

Bye all.

PS: DG0903 , this coming Wednesday (7th oct) please please make yourself FREE cause we will be having a trip down to wild wild wet. Ticket cost $15.50 . (: ! Let's have fun together deariess. Will message u peeps the timing and meeting place. ALRIGHT?! Miss you all !!