The space in my heart is EMPTY.
But i don't want it to be filled.
He filled it once and i think it's enough.
Maybe at times, lonely is the exact feeling.
But seeing how deep this cut in this heart,
I told myself enough is enough.
Be afraid, be aware.

3 things i've stopped believing in:

Constantly now i refuse to believe I LOVE YOU exist.
To me the existence of the I LOVE YOU should be extinct by now.
Cause too many made it a bad name and meaning.
Too many was hurt by it.
Too many die because of believing in it -Suicidal deaths.

Another, FOREVER shouldn't even be in the dictionary.
The definition of FOREVER is a total opposite of whatever i'm going through.
He used to say FOREVER to me, he even say i'll wait for you FOREVER.
But, i realised it was never FOREVER.
Hurtful isn't it.
Too much to believe in FOREVER.
Maybe, my FOREVER is NEVER.

PROMISE the one i hate the most.
He promised me a thousand promises and none was fulfilled.
I know, i have my weakness in here as well.
I've promised him and i fulfilled minority of it.
That's why i hate this.
PROMISE will just remain as promises.
As usual, it hurt most lovers.
And i'm one of them.
Believe in PROMISEs and you'll be hurting your very own heart the next moment.


Well, there it goes. I LOVE YOU, FOREVER and PROMISE. The 3 things i hate the most.
Like seriously, those mentioned hurt me more than once. And, they taught me nothing but to fully understand the meaning of being hurt and having your heart break into pieces. I thanks all 3.

3 years of loving was just empty with nothing but pretends from me and you. We both pretended too much that it hurts me more than it hurts you -i suppose. Yes, I asked for the break. And he cried like one ass. Full of bullshits, and i end up learning that he's moving further then i am. At least i remember the good things and memories we've been through. I doubt he do. Cause he got new memories to be made with her.

All i hope for is he won't hurt her like he hurt me. He won't break her heart like how he break mine. Boy, love her truely. Do not make her like how you made me.

Maybe you didn't teach me what's love is and you didn't make me understand how love really feels. Maybe you made me hate those 3 things. But, i should thank you cause you made me learnt that hurt can be so hurtful that i feel my heart being sliced and at times, the pain is unbearable.

Truely, i am happy that ya moving on. Finally, you are. I have nothing else to worry about now. Continue moving on. Boy, good luck and thank you. May god bless ya both.





Noone knows how i feel just no one. Sometimes, i just feel like running away from here and never come back.

Maybe just maybe -I was tremendously heart broken. Once again.

Hello lovelies.

Another awesome day.

Though, my dearest 0903 kinda dead at the end of the day -still i enjoyed today! :D Thanks babylovess, for making my day once again. Thanks to besteeaaa too. (: !



Oh oh! Watched FAME just now. Awesome. Especially for people that appreciate arts -Acting, Singing and Dancing mainly. It's one hell fantastic movie. The songs were sang tremendously well! And, the dance, ALL the dance were freaking COOOOOOOLLLL!! Thumbs up baby! Thumbs up! :D

Next movie, Ugly Truth please. =D Anyone?!



Bye.

Hello lovelies.

I was too frustrated that i dial the-whoever's number and i TALK like a bullet train (was totally positively 100% angry), i YELLED, i KNOCK SOME SENSE and i finally SPEAK MY MIND OUT to whoever. Seriously, whoever, you boiled me up yesterday night. You seriously did!

Thank you and Goodbye.

TOOT TOOT TOOT.

-just like how the i end the phone call yesterday.

Hello lovelies.

Life is seriously unpredictable. (: !

Well, results out. I'm pretty much content and a little disappointed. GPA was 2.4 . Overall, C for the results. But, a little shocked that i passed ALL my modules. I mean, my GCP was a total crap and i pass?! Miracle, i suppose. Anyway, alhamdulilah that i pass everything. There's no need for any repeat. Amin.

Another surprise came by me when dad called the M1 and realise that he can re-contract 2 of his existing lines. (: ! Apa lagi, tangkap chance arh. Mum disagree with it at first, but since she got the voucher and we can re-contract ^^ haha, i took it all! Went to IMM and re-contracted the two lines, one phone was for my younger sister and another for me. :D

I can't wait for this Friday, Saturday and next Tuesday. Oh tell me i got to wait. Haha. Friday, will be going outsss with my dearest DG0903. Watching FAME. Saturday will be Arie's open house. Can see ibu! Beraya babe! ;D ! Then, Tuesday will be like 5B2 08' gathering! HAHA! But, Sunday will be working -morning shift somemore. Chinatown, guy laroche. Oh gosh. -.- !

Oh, met uncle ronald and woo! He's the same old guy i know. haha!!! :D ! The uncle i use to have and still the uncle i use to have. haha! (: !!!

I guess, i better get going. I'm sleeeppppyyy!

Bye.

Hello lovelies.

Well, i've got nothing much to update actually just that i've been chatting with my clooosssseee friend, fiza. We were crapping about primary school life, and hell i miss that! So much to laugh about, and we realise how cute and childish we were back then. Omg, memories.

Sometimes, i want to rewind life back to those time where i don't know what is the purpose of life except playing and enjoying every seconds. When i don't have to think about how other feel about me, how i act towards the rest or even how i walk this life path. Everything was just perfect back then. Nothing was wrong. Smiles were everywhere and i can almost smile everyday.

In life, one never knows what one want. It's always this before that and then, that after this. Unpredictable, i shall say.

Well, people i miss:

Myself, my clumsy clumsy self! (:
Adeq Fateha SEYY and CGAYU (Fateha&Hidayu)
Besteaaaaa (Abid)
BFF (Fiza)
LLSSHH (GILRFs) -Liyan, Liting, Shuwen, Selina, Hidayu & Hidah,me.
5B2 08'
DG0903
My Ewahians (of courrsseee).
CTSS mates
CPS-ianss !
mrA .


(: ! Bye all. I think i've update enough. KISSES.



PS: i've updated the same post for theberadiks blog as well. (: !

Hello lovelies.

It's 2nd day of hari raya, and i realise holiday is still long long long! 1 month if i'm not wrong.

I want to go out out out! Like enjoy myself to the fullest baby! To the fullest. (: !

Bye.

I won't ask and i won't answer.
I won't take and i won't give.


Renungkan lah. (:

Oh well, rasa rasanya macam nak open lagi satu blog. Blog untuk my poems and all sorts of things. Tapi, rasa malas tu ada. So.. faham faham ye.

Assalamualaikum kepada teman teman semua.

Berakhir sudah ramadhan, jelma pula aidilfitri. Saya disini menyusun sepuluh jari memohon maaf jika terkasar bahasa, silap dan salah. Dihari mulia ini, mari lah kita buang yang keroh, ambil yang jernih.

Selamat Hari raya aidilfitri dari Hidah sekeluarga buat semua kaum islam di Singapura.

*ehem ehem*

Hello lovelies.

I swear my head is spinning right now. Not literally spinning, but ya know, S.P.I.N.N.I.N.G -.-' ! Well, i don't know why either. And yet, i'm still awake. I can't sleep. Thanks to the radio! And, mummy told me to mandi right before i sahur, and the result is fresh and more fresh! Tak tidur luuhh, petang jek lah nanti tidur ye. (:

Current activity, webcamming with M.

Bye loves.

Hello lovelies.

I'm pretty much bored here. It's like 1:12AM and i'm still wide awake. I just don't know, but something somewhere is like bothering me. Well, day was great just that after my friend told me that she felt like crying.. i felt like crying too (don't know to what). Emotions, come and go. How great. And when they come, it's a disaster. Everything you do is just no use. Well, life.

Niways, been watching split sisters video. And i think, hell they are cute! :D ! At least, they make my life way happier. I like their videos. Catch them at youtube. Currently searching for them at facebook, but i cant seem to get them. Oh well. I will get them real soon!

I think better get going. BYE!

Hello lovelies.

Guess the time. It's 2:36AM now. And i'm still awake. I can't seem to close my eyes that early. Earliest, 3:00AM.

Nothing much to do, just chatting merepek with M and listening to warna 94.2FM ! Now, listening to warna ehk! Macam mak cik mak cik sia aku. Oh well, please faham, raya is like in 1 week time and... and.. warna plays hell nice raya songs at this hour. (: !

I can't sleep, oh please please tell me what to do. =.='

Watch a bunch of vougelicious videos and split sisters. Hell, to me, i think they're one whole bunch of funny and talented peeps. Some people might just reject them or hate them, but i think i like them. A fan, A FAN! (: ! Haha. Oh well, they are kinda unique. And at least, they dare to stand up for themselves. They know that the society might hate them, but hell, that doesn't stop them to be who they are -VOUGELICIOUS. XD ! I'm hook! All the way vougelicious. (: !

I think i can go off lah! Bye!

Hello lovelies.

I've complete the jigsaw puzzle. :D !



Thanks to M cause he invited me to play it and left me all alone with it as he some lepak matter to do. -.-' !!

Hello lovelies.

Okay~ I'm like suppose to spring clean my room but i felt freakingly lazy! So end up online with M and crap a lot with him. But hell yeah, i seriously need to get some cleaning done tomorrow. Die die tomorrow.

My room is like one messed up now. Looks more like a pig place! -.-' ! I can't wait to move house so i will get my own room. Which means, more space of my own! Waahhhaa!! I'll be a happy girl then. (: ! My current room is like super small and i'm sharing it with my younger sister and my maid. CRAMPY!

Well, here's the mess that mummy's been angry about for like weeks.

There's 3 bears there, my pencik case, my itouch, my digi camera, my pencil case, my lovely eyemo, my phone earpiece, my itouch earpiece, my camera USB and my handbag! XD ! No wonder mummy's nagging non stop.

I mean, it's a fast thing to clean but yet i'm lazy like nobody's business. Well, let me tell ya, that's just one part of the mess. Mummy nag at me about my school related box too! HAHA. Every year, she'll get bored with that corner. You know why? Cause books are like all over the place!! Let me show ya!


See, that's the corner. Most of them is like my younger sister's books. Hell, i'm the one suppose to clean it up for her?! Mummy! It's a little unfair. But never mind, since mummy is nagging at me. I shall take the job. Urgh, every year.. without fail. =.=' !

Oh, i think i'm being too lazy for two days straight! Thanks M for your craps. It hooked me and makes me feels freaking lazy to move my ass off my laptop and start spring cleaning. You're such a joker. :D ! HAHA!! Oh well, tomorrow shall off the craps untill i'm done with cleaning. And see my room now, in a mess! Huge mess M!! Huge mess! Argh! So are you going to help in any way now? Uh Uh?! Haha!!!

Please, raya is like in 1 week and 4 days time. I'm pretty much excited bout it! HAHA. Guess what i miss, HELL contact lenses!! =.=' Though i've said like i'm afraid to get it like a lot of time, but now after watching tutorials after tutorials i think i seriously need one contact lenses! Next year's birthday present? Hell no, it's like long. Maybe new year present. Yeah, let's make it new year present!! :D !

Oh, without contact lenses. Guess what i'm planning to do. I'm literally planning to throw my specs when i'm taking photos. HAHA! Hey, my costume is like freaking glamorous and of course i won't allow my specs to spoil it all by appearing in my pictures. Hah! Of course. Brilliant hidah, brilliant! :D !!

Another problem for raya solved! :D

Raya this year is like problematic ya know. First, i was like MY HAIR MY HAIR! I found the solution to it. Hair lotion and i'm in love with the lotion. Seriously. Smells good and hey it works. (: ! Next, MY EYES MY EYES! I found another solution.. simply no specs when taking pictures. :D ! HAHA. The only problem i'm yet to solve is.. MY MAKE UP MY MAKE UP! Urgh! Make up! The only solution is to buy it but i don't know when! =.=' ! Sunday is like so long! Oh come faster Sunday! -.-' !!

I think i've blogged enough.
Bye all!

Hello lovelies.

Here's a midnight post.

Pretty much i've been watching make up tutorials lately. I don't know why but i find them useful.
Fashion videos as well. I mean i'm 18 and hey i need that closet to change. But, watching and saying is like super no use if i'm like money-less! The only reason why i hate school break is because i have no bucks to spend on. And worst, the current school break is like 6 weeks. 6 weeks without shopping is sucha killer! =.='

Speaking of make up - I totally need to get my ass of and invest on make up! Thinking of buying the Mineral Make up, but it cost 80 bucks per tube. It's a little too much to ask from mummy/sister just for a make up. Well, shall just hit the Bodyshop anytime soon with sister as she has discount (her birthday month). Whatever it is, i need to get those make up like before raya! I can't go make up less during raya. Oh please! My foundation is like surviving, and my powder is OUT OF STOCK! =.=' ! Sunday, let's make a date with bodyshop this Sunday. Shall we?

Okay enough of fashion and make up talk! Let's move on to movie. :D

G-Force is a disappointment to me. Well, maybe it is a nice movie to any of you out there, but it's just not to what i expected it to be. The cute is in there, the guinea pigs of course, but the plot is just well a little too messed up or something. Sorry, but rating for G-Force is low for me.

Next movie is Fame. I wanna watch Fame like so much! Good thing it's out when i have the money (duit raya lah apa lagi ^^ ). Haha, perasan dapat jek tau ni Hidah. HAHA! Anyway, Fame looks good. I was thinking of watching Final Destination, but Zac was like telling me it's stupid and better don't waste my money on it. So, i think i better don't.

Enough movie talk.
Let's check my raya shopping list, shall we?


RAYA BAJU . Bought.
RAYA SHOE . Bought.
RAYA BAG . Empty.
MAKE UP . Empty.
RAYA CADAR . Bought.
RAYA LANGSIR (for room) . Empty.

Hell yeah, i pretty much has shopping to do for raya still. Mummy, let's go hit the town or the geylang *roll eyes* some day!! Oh, pretty mummy please. :D !!


I think i mumbled too much for a midnight post. I better get sleeping. NIGHT NIGHT!
BYE.

Hello lovelies.

New blog created and now i'm plainly lazy -like seriously!

Mum is nagging at me. She's like complaining that my room is in a messed and i need to clean up like right now~ But hey, i'm not in the mood to clean up. Maybe tomorrow aite mummy?! :D

I want raya to come fast fast. Oh please! HAHA!!