Life is demanding too much from me again.
Or maybe it's just me.
But seriously,
Time like this all i want to do is to close my eyes.
And just press the rewind button and repeat life for the better.
Just because i felt like i'm a failure in life.


SCHOOL is FUCKED UP!
Another crash down.
Maybe, just maybe, i'm expecting too much from myself.
Yes, i do expect the failure, but at the same time seeing and realising that i can actually do better just makes me feel like shit.
I mean, come on. Who doesn't want to be the best if they know they can be the best right?
Seriously, i feel downcast-ed.
It's like hey why is everybody able to do just perfectly fine but not me?
I feel terrible.
I mean, where is all my abilities gone to?
Where has it all gone to?
Stupid, i feel stupid.
My heart says i can't feel this way.
One reason -it's not the end.
But, seeing the grades is like -God, why am i here then?
You know?
It's like i'm at the wrong place doing the wrong things.
Afterall, it isn't my number 1 choice in the list.
Maybe i'm meant to be here, doing all this.
Which i never thought would be difficult.
Or maybe, everything that i'm learning now isn't my thing?
But, if it isn't my thing then that's the reason why i'm learning it.
Right?

I don't know.
See, this why school is confusing for me.
I don't know what i want and what i want to be later on in future.
I don't even know what i can hold.
Maybe i just haven't see it yet.
I don't know what's my dream is all about.




Bye, a little too dramatic for today's post. But that's how i feel.
*Hugs and Kisses*